I personally am the kind that self reflect through many different experiences. Maybe a few triggers here and then to kick start but I usually end it positive. For eg:
1) O Levels: Can't study at home, Cycled Max Speed to the top of Tampines Mountain Bike Trail. Threw the bike aside and just let the environment sink in. An hour or so, my mind would be refreshed to take on more studying. Result: L1R4= 14pts
2) During Polytechnic: Questioned the big One up in the sky deciding my life a lot. Led to alot of confusion, wrong mistakes, wrong decisions. Cycled to Pasir Ris Park at Max Speed. Relaxed at a quiet BBQ pit and think it through. Pray also. Result: Ended poly with more joy then regret.
3) NOW: Questioned about NS, Questioned about someone in particular, Questioned even about my kids in school vs my own pleasure. Cycled to Pasir Ris Park & Remote location in Changi.
Result: Nothing! NOTHING! NOTHING!!!!
All I ask for is for Him to say something or show something. I know that I really want to pursue but I sometimes make sense to myself and sometimes don't. Things were so fine till today. Tmrw's work day would be kind of awkward I guess. I hoping not and I can still ask her out.
I can be the guy that thinks so much that I make sense to myself to not do things, but at the same time, I know that is what I want. Even friends say its possible but its not I guess. I should have just stuck to church.
" Everyone has their on Everest, We all want to conquer it. "
But there is a time for it.
Sometimes,
Either the mountain has warned me or her mountains (friends) have done the same for her.
Or have I scaled the wrong mountain....
To end off,
I thought I was smart enough to know so many things but in the end, I am defeated by myself. How smart could I have gotten.
Till Next Time,
TUB
No comments:
Post a Comment